Evil Is A Choice, Not a Birthright

"Dying overrated.
Human sentimentality has twisted it into the ultimate act of love.
Biggest load of bullshit in the world.
Dying for someone isn't the hard thing.
The man that dies escapes. Plain and simple.
Game over. End of pain.
Alina was the lucky one. Try living for someone.
Through it all--good, bad, thick, thin, joy, suffering.
That's the hard thing."

--Karen Marie Moning, Shadowfever

Genre: Adult Paranormal

Publisher: Delacorte Press

Pages: 608

Publication Date: January 18th, 2011

Source: Bought

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Previous Books in Series:  Darkfever & Bloodfever & Faefever & Dreamfever

Goodreads Description

“Evil is a completely different creature, Mac. Evil is bad that believes it’s good.” — MacKayla Lane was just a child when she and her sister, Alina, were given up for adoption and banished from Ireland forever. — Twenty years later, Alina is dead and Mac has returned to the country that expelled them to hunt her sister’s murderer. But after discovering that she descends from a bloodline both gifted and cursed, Mac is plunged into a secret history: an ancient conflict between humans and immortals who have lived concealed among us for thousands of years.

What follows is a shocking chain of events with devastating consequences, and now Mac struggles to cope with grief while continuing her mission to acquire and control the Sinsar Dubh -- a book of dark, forbidden magic scribed by the mythical Unseelie King, containing the power to create and destroy worlds.

In an epic battle between humans and Fae, the hunter becomes the hunted when the Sinsar Dubh turns on Mac and begins mowing a deadly path through those she loves.

Who can she turn to? Who can she trust? Who is the woman haunting her dreams? More important, who is Mac herself and what is the destiny she glimpses in the black and crimson designs of an ancient tarot card?

From the luxury of the Lord Master’s penthouse to the sordid depths of an Unseelie nightclub, from the erotic bed of her lover to the terrifying bed of the Unseelie King, Mac’s journey will force her to face the truth of her exile, and to make a choice that will either save the world . . . or destroy it

The Conclusion

So, this is gonna have to be quick and dirty because the final book of this series is everything I wanted it to be so far be it from me to ruin it for anybody that hasn't read this series. Overall, this story to me was about personal growth, self-acceptance in the purest sense of the word, and overcoming the most intense of obstacles. Mac is a character I wasn't too sure I would grow to really love but wow, does this girl bring the heat. She has grown and adapted and evolved so incredibly much from the naive Southern Belle we met her as. She is a kickass bitch who not only kicks asses, takes names, but deports your ass. She is awesome. My favorite part of her transformation is when she gives Barrons (Jericho...drool) the business in regards to what they are. No spoilers but there is one particular scene where I was grinning like an idiot and wanting to fist pump. It was just awesome.

Jericho Barrons...I mean, what do I even say about this man? Except that he is simply one of the most complex, intricately developed characters ever. His alpha-ness makes other alphas run and cower. Learning his nuances and feelings was like Christmas freaking morning. Every little tidbit of information or insight I got on this man, I was salivating over. I cannot verbalize enough how fascinated I am by him.

OMG THE BEGINNING OF THE BOOK?! How could I forget? I sobbed the first two chapters. Oh, my gosh. Obviously I won't tell you what happened but holy feels. The repercussions of the end of Dreamfever and the beginning of Shadowfever was something I never saw coming. No joke, the story from there just skyrockets into amazing. Plot twists come out of nowhere, characters are revealed to be so much more than we initially thought, questions are answered that we have been contemplating about since Darkfever. Like, I don't even know what to say! I cannot do this book justice because there are so many reveals that I am at a loss for words...damn, this review sucks doesn't it? Ok, so I'll try to give you a little insight as to what happens. We get more info on Darroc and his plan. He meet more of Barrons' men. We get SO MUCH history about the Unseelie King and his concubine. THIS was amazing! Ok, I'm done. I don't know what else to say. All I can say is read this series. This series is completely kickass and gets better as you read it. Each book builds off the last to a conclusion that you never see coming.

The Posturing

I know this was all meant to drive the plot but the stupidity of the other side-seers in regards to how tyrannic Rowena was drove me up the walls. Like, how can you not see how bat-shit crazy this old braud is? She doesn't care about you. All she cares about is herself and hoarding all the pertinent information you need. This lady was a bully in the highest degree. How could they not see this? I have no idea what this bitch's MO was besides just being the leader and everyone following blindly. I'm with Dani on this one, you're all sheep. Baaah.

VIP

If you love a good paranormal series that is equal parts sexy and mysterious, this series is definitely for you. It is a slow burn of tension and plot reveals that leaves you dying for more...I need more Mac and Barrons.

Coming Back From Darkness

"It's funny how, when things seem darkest,
moments of beauty present themselves in the most unexpected places."

--Karen Marie Moning, Dreamfever

Genre: Adult Paranormal

Publisher: Delacourte Press

Pages: 389

Publication Date: August 18th, 2009

Source: Bought

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Previous Books in Series: Darkfever & Bloodfever & Faefever

Goodreads Description

MacKayla Lane lies naked on the cold stone floor of a church, at the mercy of the erotic Fae master she once swore to kill. Far from home, unable to control her sexual hungers, MacKayla is now fully under the Lord Master’s spell.…In New York Times bestselling author Karen Marie Moning’s stunning new novel, the walls between human and Fae worlds have come crashing down. And as Mac fights for survival on Dublin’s battle-scarred streets, she will embark on the darkest—and most erotically charged—adventure of her life.

He has stolen her past, but MacKayla will never allow her sister’s murderer to take her future. Yet even the uniquely gifted sidhe-seer is no match for the Lord Master, who has unleashed an insatiable sexual craving that consumes Mac’s every thought—and thrusts her into the seductive realm of two very dangerous men, both of whom she desires but dares not trust.

As the enigmatic Jericho Barrons and the sensual Fae prince V’lane vie for her body and soul, as cryptic entries from her sister’s diary mysteriously appear and the power of the Dark Book weaves its annihilating path through the city, Mac’s greatest enemy delivers a final challenge.…

It’s an invitation Mac cannot refuse, one that sends her racing home to Georgia, where an even darker threat awaits. With her parents missing and the lives of her loved ones under siege, Mac is about to come face-to-face with a soul-shattering truth—about herself and her sister, about Jericho Barrons…and about the world she thought she knew.

**SPOILERS FOR PREVIOUS BOOKS BELOW, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED**

OMG, wait, WHAT just happened at the end of Faefever?! The walls are down. Mac is running and literally hiding for her life. Barrons, V'lane, and the other sidhe-seers are nowhere to be found...and Mac finds herself at the mercy of the Unseelie Princes being turned into Pri-ya. What. The Actual. Fuck. For reals. So the beginning of the book we find Mac still at the hand of the Lord Master and the three Unseelie Princes...but is there a fourth? We still don't know. Anyways. I won't talk too much about plot because it's so hard to write reviews for books after the first in a series, anyways. I'll break it down by bullet points and tell you what I loved.

• Dani. Constant. Loyal. Always ready to come in and save the day no matter how crazy.
• BARRONS. ALL THE BARRONS
• Ok, for real, though. Barrons coming in like Hell on wheels and Hell hath no fury like a Barrons scorned. Sexy. Beast. Of. A. Man.
• Uh...Mac trying to come back from being Pri-ya and ALL  it involved...again, BARRONS.
• Mac being a badass bitch all day, every day. Finally.
• More answers
• V'lane and Barrons bantering...holy amazing.
• Mac and Barrons banter!!

Ok, it's hard to really tell you how much I love these book. Each book gets better and for the sake of not ruining the plot completely, just know that this is a slow-moving train in all senses of the story and it is so totally paying off. The tension on so many fronts is to thick you can cut it with a knife. And while this is frustrating while going through, you realize it all is a very delicate dance to get you to the very end...and oh.my.gosh. the end...

The Constant Conflicts

Now, while I'm being a little hypocritical because I love the slow burn Mac and Barrons have going on, it is a little wearisome at times. Like, I get it. He can't tell you anything. You KNOW you both have feelings for one another and this constant defensive they are both on grated my nerves a little bit. They went through SO MUCH in the beginning of the book. It was beautiful so see them uninhibited like that so I thought we were FINALLY making some progress. But it's like 2 steps forward, 12 steps back with these two. I just wanted to shake them at some points and yell, 'JUST SAY WHAT YOU'RE SO OBVIOUSLY FEELING!' Phew. But again. Conflict drives the story. I get it. I need this last book with lots of kissing.

Backstage Pass

They See Me Rollin', They Hatin'

"She felt alive with him. She wanted to savor that feeling,
and hold onto him for as long as possible.
He wasn't her weapon anymore.
He was her salvation."

--Jill Sorensen, Riding Dirty

Genre: Adult Romance, Erotica

Publisher: Harlequin HQN

Publication Date: October 1st,, 2014

Source: eARC provided by publicist in exchange for an honest review

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Previous Books in Series: First book in series

Goodreads Description

He's her weapon of choice...

Psychologist Mia Richards wants revenge. Her new client, tattooed Cole "Shank" Shepherd, provides the perfect means. She just has to manipulate the felon-turned-informant into eliminating her husband's killers—members of Cole's rival motorcycle club. The first step, seducing Cole, is simple. As for walking away before she falls hard—it's already too late.…

Dirty Eleven practically raised Cole, and he plans to double-cross the cops rather than sell them out. But smart, sexy Mia is an irresistible distraction. While she's evaluating his mind, all he can think about is her body… until he discovers her true intentions. Walking a fine line between desire and betrayal, they'll have to outrun her past, his enemies and the law for a love that's dangerously real.

The Revenge

When Estelle approached me asking if I would read and review this book I read the description and immediately knew it would be up my alley. Well, I mean, I hoped so at least. And let me tell you, Estelle knows my dirty mind and style. This book was so far from a disappointment. So this is a story that starts off with a home invasion and the brutal murder of Mia's husband 3 years earlier. Since then, Mia has been in the Witness Protection Program and has recently come up with a plan to use her position as a psychologist to seduce a man who is the enemy of the men who killed her husband in order to get revenge. Badass, cold-hearted bitch right there. Already love her. However, that plan goes to shit as soon as she lays eyes on (the incredibly hot and sexy as fuck) Cole. He agreed to be a police informant on his uncle, the leader of a Motorcycle Club *cue images of Sons of Anarchy...drool*. As part of this process, he has to meet with Mia, a psychologist, to ensure he is in a proper state of mind. These sessions are used by Mia in order to subtly coerce him into wanting to seek revenge on her behalf.

I loved the raw emotions from Mia from the very beginning. Her desire to see her husband's killers brought down was highly enjoyable for me. Let's not forget my Sicilian temper and apt for all things violent in regards to people who hurt me. Anyways. I would want to do the same thing Mia chooses to do so she was immediately a badass bitch in my book. Her traumatic experience not only changed her life but ruined the life she built having to go into Witness Protection. She yearns to take back some semblance of control in order to move on. To do that, she needs Cole. Holy fucking 10 alarm fire hot Cole. As I texted Estelle, Cole is basically my fictional man candy MO minus the whole prison stint but hey, what can you do? We all make mistakes. Seriously. But anyways...see below about Cole.

The Romance

While the romance was a little on the insta-connection side, I was definitely okay with it because it progressed the story in the way it needed to go. I loved watching them both struggle against their inherent desires to be with one another when these two people couldn't be more different from each other. I love stories like this where two very different people end up finding each other and they just click. Cole and Mia were definitely like this. I loved that Mia saw Cole for who he was and loved him for what he has on the inside. It was so amazing to see Mia brining out the protective side of Cole and how he wanted to be better for her. While I don't believe we need to change who we are for the one we love, the fact that Cole wanted to just be a better man in general, was beautiful. My heart broke when he referred to her time with him as 'slumming' or how he was a 'thug.' Ugh, broke my damn heart.

Furthermore, mushy stuff aside, their sexual compatibility was...holy shit, off the charts hot. I started reading this book on my break at work and what a terrible idea that was. I'm sitting in public reading this, fanning myself, sweating slightly, and all the sudden 'Kelly, your patient in 22 needs pain meds.' Me: 'FUCK, what?! Oh...right...yeah, I'll be right there' *Wipes sweat from brow and looks around guiltily* For real. Cole knows his way around a woman's body and his domineering attitude made me want to start trolling prisons and motorcycle clubs for my own diamond in the rough. I won't lie to you though, the title is not misleading. This book is dirty and sexy and not for the erotic faint of heart. Obviously, I loved every second of it but if dirty talk and adventurous sexual escapades is not your thing, I don't want you yelling at me for the depravity I so love. Anyways, Cole worships Mia and their interactions were equal parts hot and romantic. I can't say enough good things about their relationships. They both choose to sacrifice so many things in order to be together. Loved it.

The Story

I really did not want to put this book down. I told Estelle I stayed up until 11pm when I had to work the next day at 5:30 am because I HAD TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS. I was invested in Cole and Mia's story. I had to find out who actually killed Mia's husband. How would their love story play out? What kind of life could the lead together? SO many questions that I had to finish. The writing is clean and concise (and hot as all hell) and I loved that I felt immediately in the world of Southern California. It helps I live here and could picture a lot of it, #winning. It was just really engaging and I didn't want to put it down...so I didn't.

Character Direction

So the only part that had me head-tilting and confused was Mia's initial motivation. I mean, OBVIOUSLY her motivation was to punish the men who murdered her husband and maybe it was because her connection to Cole was so immediate that I struggled with understanding her initial plan prior to meeting Cole. It was fleshed out more as we get into the story but in the beginning when she is worried about crossing the therapist/patient line I was confused. Like, wait isn't this the plan all along? Don't you want to use him? Isn't the plan to cross the line and seduce him in order to do your bidding? I guess because her attraction to him was so immediate I didn't feel her struggle as much but eventually understood she struggled in the sense she wanted to cross the line as a woman rather than as part of her plan. It just took a bit for it to get there.

Reserved Seating

If you're looking for dirty, sexy, and raunchy (in a good way) sexy times with a hero and heroine that will have you sweating, this book is for you. Not for the faint-hearted.

You Are My Fire, My One Desire

"Life is messy and unpredictable;
sometimes it's a punch in the gut, 
and sometimes it's so beautiful, it brings tears to my eyes."

--Ann Aguirre, I Want It That Way

Genre: NA Contemporary

Publisher: Harlequin HQN

Pages: 352

Publication Date: August 26th, 2014

Source: e-ARC provided by publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review

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Goodreads Description

Nadia Conrad has big dreams, and she's determined to make them come true—for her parents' sake as well as her own. But between maintaining her college scholarship and working at the local day care to support herself, she barely has time to think, let alone date. Then she moves into a new apartment and meets the taciturn yet irresistible guy in 1B….

Daniel Tyler has grown up too fast. Becoming a single dad at twenty turned his life upside down—and brought him heartache he can't risk again. Now, as he raises his four-year-old son while balancing a full-time construction management job and night classes, a social life is out of the question. The last thing he wants is for four noisy students to move into the apartment upstairs. But one night, Nadia's and Ty's paths cross, and soon they can't stay away from each other.

The timing is all wrong—but love happens when it happens. And you can't know what you truly need until you stand to lose it.

The Premise 

I love love LOVED that this story involved a single dad. Don't ask me why. I have no idea why this was such a turn-on for me but it's true. I think I like that a very unconventional type of love story was explored. Ty isn't your typical knight in shining armor but that is also what drew me to him while reading. It is not often that our hero has a 4 year old so basically falling in love comes complete with bonus Mommy title. Well, we all know it's more complicated than that but still. I loved this premise and story and reading about the intricacies of falling in love when a lot of other variables are in play.

The Chemistry 

The romance aspect of this story hits you hard in the gut. While it can easily be defined as insta-lovey, that isn't a deal breaker for a story for me. I don't mind insta-connections when done right and I think it was done right here. I'm not a full blown believer in love at first sight, however I do fully believe in an instant connection or attraction to somebody so I get Nadia's (well I don't GET IT because it hasn't happened to me but I digress) gut feeling towards Ty. When you meet the one you're supposed to be with I think it's possible to know right away in a sense. Now I'm getting all philosophical and it's way too early for that. ANYWAYS, what I'm trying to get at is their chemistry in unbelievably sexy and I was most in need of a fan while reading. Ty is the ginger of my dreams...sorry Prince Harry, you've been replaced.

The Hiccups 

Clearly Ty didn't plan on having a 4 year old kid in his twenties and all the other characters we meet also meet hiccups in their life plan along the way. I loved this. Life is messy and beautiful and never works out the way you planned but it is how we decide to deal with those road bumps that make us who we are. You ever hear that saying, 'If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plan.' I love that saying because it is so true. And I loved this aspect of the story. I think it portrayed real life in a way that wasn't easy but realistic.

The Conflict 

While we cannot have a book without conflict I had some issues with this one. Obviously, dating as a single parent is complicated in the very least. However, I found the reasoning behind the central problem of the story to be a bit weak. It felt like the situation they put themselves in was far more complicated and had much more chance for disaster than the alternative. I know this is vague but I'm not going to give away any spoilers. So read and we shall discuss.

General Admission

I really liked this book a lot. I could not put it down because the romance was sexy and I HAD to know what was going to happen to the characters. I'll definitely be picking up the next book. If you love New Adult contemporary or are thinking about trying out this genre, I really think you'll like this book! If

The Importance of Timing Part II

You guys...YOU GUYS. You all KNOW how much I LOVE all of Jojo Moyes books, right?! So imagine my surprise (more like utter shock) when the amazing Jaime over at Fiction Fare made me aware of a signing that was taking place no more than 20 minutes from where I'm living in San Diego. OH MY GOSH LET THE FREAK OUT BEGIN. Never in my life did I think I would ever have the opportunity to meet her because she is legit one of my all-time favorite authors. Her books touch me on a level that is always personal in some way no matter what the story is. Her stories are magic and she weaves the ordinary into the extraordinary and I cannot ever get enough of her books.

SO! I wanted to do a fun recap of the event at Warwick's Bookstore in La Jolla, California and give a quick and dirty break down of some of the fun facts I learned about Jojo Moyes. Oh, and in case you were wondering...her accent is absolutely lovely and she is so kind in real life. Really. 

Fun Facts I Learned About Jojo Moyes

Why did she write ONE PLUS ONE? 

Reason 1: She wanted to write a story about a good mother. She said literature has too many bad examples or they treat mothers horribly. Such as fairy tales (The Moms are always dead), Harry Potter (Harry's Mom is dead), The Goldfinch (The Mom is dead), and Pride and Prejudice (the Mom in meddling). 

Reason 2: She also wanted to write a "dirty, sexy, funny, great road trip story." Direct quote. I absolutely loved this because the words dirty and sexy to describe a road trip makes the story sound illicit...then you realize they have two children and a big, dirty dog with them...maybe THAT'S why dirty was an adjective...

She Listens To Input From Her Fans

MILD SPOILER ALERT FOR ONE PLUS ONE

When debating the fate of Norman, she tweeted wondering if she should kill the dog and the overwhelming response from Twitter the next morning was NO…she found it ironic that nobody cares when she kills a human (save one human) but they all care about the dogs. In fact, she once got an email from a reader stating she would never read her books again for the demise of a dog in SHIP OF BRIDES (she promises that isn't a spoiler) 

Her Inspiration For ME BEFORE YOU?

She has personal experience with the question of quality of life thus pushing her to write ME BEFORE YOU and a young athlete recently had befallen a life-changing injury and opted for physician-assisted suicide.

How did she write MBY?

She said ME BEFORE YOU was the easiest book she ever wrote. 

I love that.

Will (see what I did there?) there be more MBY?

Yes, kinda! It's going to be a movie!!! AND it had a female director AND producer AND A-list actors reading for the role of Will...EEP!

Where Did the Story for THE GIRL YOU LEFT BEHIND Came From

The Girl You Left Behind was inspired by a true story of an American reporter who was asked to watch over  a warehouse that contained 1/3 of Europe's stolen art during the liberation of Dachau. So that part in the book? True story.

The Ending of an Era?

She wanted to write The Last Letter To Your Lover because a younger friend or family member (can't remember) never received a love letter and she thought her generation might be the last of the receiver of love letters 

True Life Inspiration...

Jojo says she gets up at 6 am to write every morning...her husband wakes up at 5:55 am every morning to make her coffee, prop her head behind a pillow, and plop her computer on her lap…if that isn’t true love…no wonder she writes such great love stories. 

My favorite fact of the night AND the reason why I absolutely love all her books?

She could get a novel out of any human being she talked for a short amount of time. She says that we all have a story to tell...isn't that just lovely? Ordinary into extraordinary, what did I say?

Seriously though, this was one of the best nights ever and such an amazing event. It was well-organized and just such a great signing. I'm not lying when I say Jojo Moyes is such a nice person to meet and it was an amazing experience to tell her in person how much her books mean to me...even if I was spazzing...just a little. Thank you so incredibly much to Warwick's the event and I can't wait to come back for some more books :)

If you haven't read any of her books yet (what in the actual hell are you waiting for?)
don't forget to check out my VIP reviews for...

The Last Letter To Your Lover
Me Before You
One Plus One
The Girl You Left Behind

Love Has a Language All Its Own

"You can fall in love in a second.
The heart has no regard for time."

--Karina Halle, Love, in English

Genre: Adult Contemporary Romance

Publisher: Metal Blonde Books

Pages: 456

Publication Date: April 20th, 2014

Source: Bought

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Previous Books in Series: Standalone

Goodreads Description

He’s thirty-eight. I’m twenty-three.

He speaks Spanish. I speak English.

He lives in Spain. I live in Canada.

He dresses in thousand-dollar suits. I’m covered in tattoos.

He’s married and has a five-year old daughter.

I’m single and can’t commit to anyone or anything.

Until now.Because when they say you can’t choose who you fall in love with, boy ain’t that the f*#king truth.

I realized pretty early on while reading that there would be no way I could write in my new style of review breaking it down into likes and dislikes. It would take away the fluidity of thought I needed to give this book justice. Ok, this is where I try to coherently explain all the amazing that is this book.

The writing of Karina Halle in Love, in English has this fluidity to it that made it feel like the story, characters, and scenery was unfolding right in front of my eyes. It was the kind of writing that feels like you're hanging out with a friend. It just told a story so perfectly that it ebbed and flowed and melded into you heart and mind and I was so entranced by it that I felt completely out of this world and into that of Vera and Mateo and Acantilado. The beauty that was in these words was palpable and my heart was freaking bleeding all over the place for this story. The words are powerful and filled with longing and hope and desire.

As you can read in the description this is a story of love in one of the most forbidden situations. Mateo is married and 38 and has a child. Vera is 23 and single and lives in Canada. But the heart wants what it wants. Now this is the part where you start to think, well it doesn't really matter all their differences, he's married and that's that. You're right. Vera thinks so, too. The way this story is told and how Karina develops the relationship is just so perfect. I was not rooting for this couple in the beginning and neither is Vera for the longest time. She knows the boundaries and is very well-aware of all that would go wrong developing a crush on Mateo. She is not some home-wrecking whore who goes after him disregarding his marital status. And Mateo is not a sleezy Spaniard preying on a good-looking young woman. This is part of the main reason I love this book because it handles everything with so much emotion and understanding. The way things are developed very extremely realistic and I found myself empathizing with both characters. Especially Vera, but I'll get to her in a second. YOU GUYS, you just have to read it, I'm serious. As a person who find cheating unacceptable, the way this book is written makes you understand completely what happens and why. Vera and Mateo are beautiful people and characters,that is all.

The emotional connection I felt with Vera scared me a little. Not in the obvious sense of the plot I feel the need to point out. I know I tweeted it while reading but I'm going to say it again here because this is a moment that doesn't happen often but that I live for while reading...and it is this. 'That moment when a book character says something and it feels like it came directly from your own soul.' I am being 100% serious when I say this. I can count the number of times on one hand when this has happened to me while reading. This is a big deal for me, guys...and now you're all wondering what, WHAT could possibly have affected me that much, right? Well if this were real life there is no way in absolute hell I would tell anybody how emotional this part of the book was for me. But because I believe the internet not only to be a shout into the void in some sense, I feel safer putting down here to all of you because 1. if you're reading this you understand the power of books and the written word and 2. I trust y'all not to see me as some sad and desperate sap.

So. The quote that got me all ugly faced crying is this...

"It was hard for me to admit this because I liked to have people think I was happy-go-lucky, that I devoured life, that I got up every day feeling good and excited and hopeful. But I didn't.

'No,' I told him, my gaze locking on his. 'I am not happy.'

'Why?' he asked quietly.

'Because...I am lonely.'

...

'You are lonely, but you say you like to be alone.'

I nodded. 'I do. I prefer it. But...it doesn't mean
I don't want someone to love me.'
My eyes stung, as if tears were on their way. I bit my lip, debating if I should say more.
'It doesn't mean that I don't have a lot of love in me to give someone.'"

Without making you want to feel bad for me, that is not my intention, this is pretty much my life. My mental psyche that I thought nobody understood or could ever feel was sitting there in black and white in front of my face. There is something extremely comforting about having a complete stranger write words that you yourself have thought or could have written. This right here is why I read. This is why I love emotional connections to character. I love that feeling of understanding that we can relate to not only to the fictional characters in a book but obviously the author who wrote the beautiful words. 

Ok, emo moment aside. Why else did I love this book? Well, it's also another reason I love reading. I love to learn. I love to gain new experiences through the pages of books. I love to be challenged and look at a situation that I previously had a strong opinion about and question those opinions. I have learned so much from reading and have become the person I am today because of the things I have read. Some people might not like having their beliefs questioned or like reading about people with differing opinions but I love it. It makes me think outside the box and look at another side of the story. This book did that for me, too. Like my experience with Maybe, Someday, this book helped open my eyes that there is no black and white when it comes to matters of the heart. People change. They make poor decisions. Love changes people, especially when it is true and comes from a pure place. I loved that this book gave a story and a face to a subject that objectively is horrible. I love that Karina created a character that not only recognized this but fought so hard against it. It made is real. 

The experience Vera has in Spain I can also relate to. The feeling of belonging and sense of family you gain from traveling or being with the same group of people for an extended period of time is so true that it had me reminiscing on my own travel experiences with big groups. My first trip to Europe I met one of my best friends still to this day. Since meeting her in Europe in 2012 we have traveled to Canada and Africa and even here in Wisconsin! She lives in Sydney so I obviously see her very rarely but our friendship is one I cherish and will always have. My second trip to Europe in 2013 brought me the closest to falling in love I have yet to experience. Her fear that Mateo isn't really like this all the time is something completely realistic. Unlike my experience, Mateo is who he is all the time *happy sigh*. I can speak in support of Vera from personal experience that emotions are heightened and the sense of family is brought on quickly. I can completely relate to that feeling of home and belonging in a place that couldn't be more different than the one you were raised in. I never feel more alive than when I'm somewhere that isn't home. I could totally see myself traversing states, countries, and continents for love. If it's real, it's worth it.

This book gave me so many feels. My chest was aching with what was going to happen. My stomach was absolutely in KNOTS! I started this on Saturday night and I had to work the next day. Longest 10.5 hour shift of my life! I couldn't wait to get back to Vera and Mateo. And I read in the car before work and I'm not kidding you, I was actually fanning  myself and looking around. I was transported into the universe of Vera and Mateo. Their slow-burn of sexual tension and getting to know each other is absolutely beautiful. The theme of stars and fate and destiny was breathtaking and I could not get enough of these references. You'll see much more below.

And this is officially not only a review--more like flailing--but a detailed description of my amazing experience while reading this book and how much I was able to relate to this story. I love this book to infinity and beyond and would urge anybody and everybody to read it if the description appeals to you because IT IS AMAZING! That is all...except for the massive collection of my favorite quotes at the bottom...enjoy.

VIP

Hands down, VIP. I absolutely love this book and cannot say enough about it...obviously the last 20 pages of text can tell you that. 

Words Have the Power to Change Us...

''I was such a dreamer. A romantic deep down inside. After everything I pushed away, I still believed in that great big love, the one that you would create stars and galaxies and universes for.'

---This was my second most absolute favorite quote of the book! :)'

'Love causes war and causes death, breaks souls and breaks lives. It runs people into the ground, makes them behave like moronic, immoral beasts, before it dances off, leaving only destruction in its wake--hearts blow wide open for the whole world to see.

Love puts the blame on the poor souls who succumb to it.

Love, that ultimate villainess. She makes examples of us all.

And yet we still come back for more.

We keep playing the role she gives us.

For one more chance to feel alive.'

'But I'm starting to think that most villains aren't evil--they are just misunderstood.'

'Try not to fall in love with anyone? She obviously doesn't know me at all.'

'Ugly?...No. You are terribly beautiful, Vera. So beautiful that it hurts. You would outshine her like the star you are.'

''You can fall in love in a second...The heart has no regard for time.'

'The stars may place us in each other's paths--I dare say that everyone here has been a victim of some sort of celestial fate. Perhaps we were all fated to meet, to be here with each other, but it is up to us to decide to shine or not. The stars are not unreachable. They are not untouchable. And they do not control us. I just created my own universe in this room here...I invite you all to do the same. Design your own universe, make you own stars, write your own stories, and create your own destiny.'

'I am going to miss your fire.'

'You bring light to my life. When you leave, there will only be a black hole inside of me. You'll take my heart with you.'

'I did not want to live a life with regrets. 
You only regretted the shit you didn't do.'

'There is nothing wrong with wanting to be happy and believing you deserve to be happy.'

Diagnosis Unknown

"For luck."

--Dani Atkins, Then and Always

Genre: Adult Contemporary, Women's Fiction

Publisher: Ballantine Books

Pages: 320

Publication Date: May 20th, 2014

Source: eARC provided by publisher via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review

Find on Goodreads

Goodreads Description

For fans of One Day, What Alice Forgot, and the hit film Sliding Doors, comes an absorbing and surprising debut novel about a young woman who, after an accident, gets a second chance at life . . . just not in one she remembers.

Rachel Wiltshire has everything she’s ever wanted: a close group of friends, a handsome boyfriend, and acceptance to the journalism program at her top-choice college. But one fateful evening, tragedy tears her world apart.

Five years later, Rachel returns home for the first time to celebrate her best friend’s wedding. Still coping with her grief, she can’t stop thinking about the bright future she almost had, if only that one night had gone differently. But when a sudden fall lands her in the hospital, Rachel wakes to find that her life has completely changed. Now she has her dream job as a writer and a stylish apartment, but the people she loves most are not the way she remembers them. Unable to trust her own recollections, Rachel tries to piece together what really happened, and not even she can predict the astonishing truth.

The Story The whole idea of alternate lives and parallel universe is explored here. The first chapter is right after graduation high school and a group of friends are at a farewell dinner where a horrible accident occurs and one of their friends dies. The next two chapters are both 5 years later and show Rachel getting ready to go back to her hometown for her best friend's wedding. In one situation, her friend is dead and she is dreading going back. The next is as if their friend didn't die at all. The story continues from this perspective with her oldest friend still being alive and she has a life she doesn't recognize. Rachel struggles to understand what has happened to her and why nobody remembers the life she had before. This was extremely interesting to read about because you just didn't know what was real and what happened. It definitely kept me interested in what happened, what is happening, and what was going to happen.

The End I obviously will not reveal the ending of the story but it was the best part of the book for me. It was beautiful and slightly unexpected. I got really emotional out of nowhere and all I can describe it as is really, really beautiful.

The Yelling There were parts of the writing that really bothered me. I felt like there were so much dialogue with characters ending their sentences with exclamation points that didn't seem to fit with the conversation. It was something I noticed that happened constantly and all I kept thinking was, 'Why are we all yelling?...' It just didn't seem to fit with the context of the situation and felt very out of place and immature feeling.

The Development While I did enjoy the relationship between Rachel and Jimmy, I just didn't feel there was a lot to go off of with the other relationships in the book. I liked Rachel's Dad but I wanted more conversation between them. Her Dad clearly had opinions about a lot of things and I would think as a parent he would voice his concerns about certain situations. I also really wanted more with Rachel's best friend Sara. It seemed like there could have been so much more to their friendship development that could have added to the story.

General Admission

While I really loved the ending and the story kept me interested, this won't be a book that stays with me or that keeps me thinking about it. It was a quick read and an enjoyable story but it fell flat in character development. 

Book Pushin'...Tatiana and Alexander

By now you have all read and seen my flails over The Bronze Horseman by Paullina Simons--or you should have because it is legitimately one of the single greatest books I have ever read. Top Three for sure--so now I'm back to GENTLY REMIND you that if you haven't read it you should...if only so you can also read and enjoy the epic amazing that is Tatiana and Alexander.

This book...THIS BOOK. This book is just as amazing as The Bronze Horseman in a whole different realm of their story. No spoilers here but I can tell you this, the continuation of this story is everything you want and more after finishing The Bronze Horseman. 

Ok. Quick and dirty!...

Tatiana and Alexander is....

Heart-Wrenching

Heart-Pounding

Heart-Breaking

Heart-Racing

Heart-Bursting

Heart-Hoping

Heart-Stopping

Heart-Hating

Heart-Loving

HEART-EXPLODING Kind-Of-Book

...Do we see a theme here? 

Have I convinced you yet?...

...No?...Alright then. How about this...

There is...

Action

Concentration Camps

Betrayal

Love

Redemption

Grieving

Flashbacks

Bravery

Courage

Never Giving Up

Finding Something You've Lost Forever

Trust

Death

Life...

...And there is Orbeli...Remember Orbeli...

Now for the fun stuff. These next two sections of this long-ass post will be included in future Book Pushin's. I did a playlist for The Bronze Horseman but have since crated a little play on words and mini-feature for future Book Pushin' posts as well as any book that inspires me to compile a...

My playlist for Tatiana and Alexander is as heart-breaking and beautiful as The Bronze Horseman was. You can't go wrong with this epic, epic love story.

Addicted to Love by Florence + The Machines (YouTube)--Totally perfect for the all-consuming love they have for one another...*sigh*...

The lights are on, but you're not home

Your mind is not your own

Your heart sweats, your body shakes

Another kiss is all it takes

You can't sleep, you can't eat
There's no doubt, you're in deep
Your throat is tight, you can't breathe

Another kiss is all you need

I Choose You by Sara Bareilles (YouTube)--Time and time again, they prove that no matter what they will always choose the other. For better or worse.

Tell the world that we finally got it all right

I choose you

I will become yours and you will become mine
I choose you
I choose you

Yeah

There was a time when I would have believed them
If they told me you could not come true
Just love's illusion
But then you found me and everything changed
And I believe in something again

My whole heart

Will be yours forever

This is a beautiful start

To a lifelong love letter

Haunted (Acoustic) by Taylor Swift (YouTube)--With the events of The Bronze Horseman, I think this sums it up pretty well.

You and I walk a fragile line

I have known it all this time

Oh, I'm holding my breath

Won't lose you again

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this

I thought I had you figured out

Something's gone terribly wrong

You're all I wanted

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this

I thought I had you figured out

Can't breathe whenever you're gone

Can't turn back now, I'm haunted

Addicted by Kelly Clarkson (YouTube)--Some addictions aren't bad for your health... :)

It's like I'm lost

It's like I'm giving up slowly

It's like you're a ghost that's haunting me

Leave me alone

And I know these voices in my head

Are mine alone

And I know I'll never change my ways

If I don't give you up now

It's like I can't breathe

It's like I can't see anything

Nothing but you

I'm addicted to you

It's like I can't think

Without you interrupting me

In my thoughts

In my dreams

You've taken over me

It's like I'm not me

I'm hooked on you

I need a fix

I can't take it

Just one more hit

I promise I can deal with it

I'll handle it, quit it

Just one more time

Then that's it

Just a little bit more to get me through this

I found these when I did The Bronze Horseman but didn't know how to incorporate it. It's difficult with historical fiction trying to envision clothes they would wear today but I did the best I could. I also included a special graphic that I would screen print on a t-shirt for Alexander :)

Ok, without further ado. Here is the first glimpse and edition of...

We all know the INFAMOUS white dress with roses so here is what I think Tatiana would wear if she shopped today. 

Here we have several different dresses depending on the occastion. The first? Casual sundress for walking down the street and getting ice cream perhaps. The second? A little edgier version. Nightclub maybe? The third? This one puts the 'couture' in Character Couture. I saw this dress and loved it. The mermaid silhouette is just perfection to me. I still can't believe I found this when searching. Perfect.

Oh and Alexander? Well he would so totally obviously wear this graphic screen printed on a t-shirt, all day, every day.

So? Have you read The Bronze Horseman?

Have you bought it? 

You need to...so you can experience the joy that is

Tatiana and Alexander

Find on Goodreads

Check out my Flashback Friday highlighting the book here