Finding Your Butterflies

"I'll never forget that, because you were right.

And I know you weren't trying to teach me a lesson,

but you did.

Not everything is going to go my way

and not everyone gets a happily-ever-after.

Life is real

and sometimes it's ugly

and you just have to learn how to cope."

--Colleen Hoover, Hopeless

Genre: New Adult Contemporary 

Publisher: Atria Books, 416 pages

Publication Date: December 17th, 2012 

Source: egalley provided by publisher via NetGalley

Goodreads

Goodreads Description

Sometimes discovering the truth can leave you more hopeless than believing the lies.In this #1 New York Times bestselling novel by Colleen Hoover, author of Slammed and Point of Retreat, Sky meets Dean Holder, a guy with a reputation that rivals her own. Holder has the ability to invoke feelings in Sky she's never had before. In just one encounter he leaves her terrified yet captivated and something about him brings up a rush of memories from the past that she’s worked so hard to bury away.

Sky knows Holder is nothing but trouble and tries to keep him at a distance, but he is adamant about learning everything he can about her. Sky finally caves to his unwavering pursuit, but she soon finds out that Holder isn't the person he's been claiming to be. When the secrets he's been keeping are finally revealed, every single facet of Sky's life changes forever.

My Thoughts

Wow. Just...wow. This will be my best attempt at a review. Damn it all, why are the reviews for the books I adore the hardest to write? Ok, so this book...this book was unbelievable. If all contemporaries were like this it would be my favorite genre hands down. Like I've said to a few people I hold contemporaries to such a high standard because if I'm gonna commit to reading one it better be to the caliber of any John Green book and The Sea of Tranquility because if not, I'm just not interested. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good lighthearted chick lit read every once in a while. Overall though? Not my thing. Unless your'e fighting an epic battle or a dystopian dictatorship, your superficial high school problems are a nonentity. BUT then I put my whole damn leg in my mouth when I come across absolute treasures like Hopeless and The Sea of Tranquility and The Fault In Our Stars. So deep rooted emotional issues, very hot and swoon-worthy boys, and beautiful writing is my niche for contemporary...but I digress like usual. Let's get back to Sky and Holder...

...holy hotness Batman, we've got a steaming relationship on our hands and I was constantly fanning myself because Dean Holder...*phew* throw me in the shower because I need a cold one. This boy is smokin' hot with a sarcastic mouth to boot. And hilarious! He knows exactly how to tease Sky and make her laugh. Loved this. Them together? Fuggedaboutit. These two are just incredible together. Without giving too much away about the plot, these two have A LOT of issues going on. More than they even know about to be honest. Life pretty much takes a shit on both of them...again...and again...and again. Seriously, the emotional blows just keep on coming and they continue to be there for one another. Like rocks. They are each other's compass and axis. They don't let their obvious emotional trauma interrupt what they know is special. 

Did they both have their issues? Yes. But this is what I loved, it made them so much more real and human. Their actions were honest and flawed at times but so very real. I felt emotionally invested in them almost immediately. And I promised myself I would NOT get emo on this post but one quote by Sky in the very beginning made me fall in love her because I could connect with one thing...and posting the quote is as far as I'm gonna go to explain:

"I've never been swept off my feet. 

I don't get butterflies. 

In fact, the whole idea of being swooned by anyone is foreign to me."

Yep, that about sums it up. Hopefully this changes soon but until then, color me hopeless :)

The writing of this story is beautiful. Heartfelt. Poignant. Raw. Hopeful. This book very well might tear you to pieces; it did for me. Not gonna lie, there were a few eye-rolling moments with a pet name here or there or yet another monologue of their undying devotion but very minimally. It fit with the story and was linear with the actions of the characters because, shit, these poor people are dealt a rough hand. And the plot is just incredible! Oh my gosh, just when I think I have things figured out another freaking plot twist smacked in the face. You just can't put this book down. You want to keep reading to see what happens next. There are so many extraneous details that you think have nothing to do with one another and then it's like slowly but surely the puzzle fits together. That's a good way to describe this book. A puzzle. You don't even think there are things to fit together until they do...and it's AMAZING! 

And this book is deep. It is an emotional roller coaster that will rip your heart out and leave you bleeding only to then stab you in the chest again moments later. It is beautifully haunting in exactly the right way. There were so many issues dealt with and I never thought this book would be so profound and thought-provoking but it was. I would not recommend reading this if you're coming off a heavy book. Mix it up and put it between more lighthearted ones or you may be emotionally damaged beyond repair.

I loved this book. Adored. Obsessed. In love with. In live with. In like with. I felt it all. I love the characters and the story and the writing and now that I'm sufficiently babbling I need to cut myself off. Endnote: I loved this book. I loved this book. I loved this book. And I cannot think of anything else coherent to say about it. I wish I could but I can't. 

Should You Read It? One big resounding YES! I am not a fan of contemporaries normally but I LOVED this book...have I mentioned that? That I loved it? Because I did. Fans of contemporaries-YES. People that want a good contemporary to read-YES. People that like to read about psychological issues and emotional pain-YES! Go forth and read and get your heart ripped out in the best way possible...by a book :)

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Favorite Quotes

"The note was signed by the principal, but I find that hard to believe based on the fact that 'you' was spelled 'you're,' and the note said, 'Sorry you're locker didn't come with a pole, slut.'"

"Fuck all the firsts, Sky. The only thing that matters to me with you are the forevers."

"And while I could sit here and feel sorry for myself, wondering why all of this happened to me...I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to wish for a perfect life. The things that knock you down in life are tests, forcing you to make a choice between giving in and remaining on the ground or wiping the dirt off and standing even taller than you did before you were knocked down. I'm choosing to stand up taller. I'll probably get knocked down a few more times before this life is through with me, but I can guarantee you I'll never stay on the ground."